View My Stats

Saturday, August 7

The gazillionth wake up call

I always get a little carried away in my own world and my own fantasies. I take my own time and I do what I do my own way. Sometimes taking my own time is maybe just a bit too slow for other people and I'm sorry for that. I'm trying as hard as I can to satisfy everybody, to be a good daughter/sister and to be a good friend. I don't know if I've done a good job on it but I'll always try.

I have so many imperfection. I want to change. I want to drive again and knowing all the streets in K.L and around Selangor and everywhere. Like my friends, they're like some kind of GPS and I wish I'm capable to do the same thing. That way, I don't have to give so much burden to those who send and fetch me all the time. Actually, I do take public transports and walk a lot but still.. I gotta overcome that fear.

I want to take pictures again. What I meant by taking pictures again is I want to make art again. My kind of view. I used to be like so freakishly passionate in photography till it's all I talk about. I used to do a lot, critic a lot and finished hours and hours editing and browsing around Candid Syndrome or what not. Used to. Not that I don't do it at all nowadays, I do. But not OBSESSED like before. I wanted to be OBSESSED again. When I'm OBSESSED, I like what the results turn out to be. I don't know. Things just unlikely fall into places.

I want to read novels again. Sophie Kinsella, Cecilia Ahern, The Little Black Dress. Gosh what's happening to me all this time, huh? I want to go visit the museum sometimes, and exhibitions, watch musicals and traditional dances. Ohh Gosh that's freakin awesome. 2008,Citrawarna Festival Kolej UiTM Perak. We won. Dancing to the mix of Malaysian famous tradisional song and wearing the coolest costume ever.

I want my online shopping store to be active again once more and make real hard cash. Ka-ching. From my own hardwork. And have those little cute business card to pass around to everyone. I want to be in good shape, good health again. I want my skin to go back to normal again. I want to study abroad someday and Melbourne is in mind. All I can say is..

What the H had happened to me all this time?
Seriously. I mean, like SERIOUSLY!
Was I like too devastated about what had happened before or something?

See, flaws here and there :)

C'mon Elani. Wake up call for like, the gazillionth time.
I don't want to depend on anyone else but myself. I want to be all that I used to be, do what I used to do and want what I used to want.


  1. ELANI, never sit back, and wonder what good things you have done in the past. sometimes, we just have to step forward and see future as it might be happening as the best. we can never defeat what god has planned for us. it may sound dull and gloomy, but always remember, its the best for you now.

  2. no no no. jangan guna devastated. itu pkataan aku. hahahaha

    ur doing just fine la elani.! and you'll be better esok.. (:

  3. Ainie: thank you.true,gotta agree on that :)

    Rehe: haha, ko xpyh nk devastated2 ek. haha.
    tq :D